Help Me Help You

Archive for September, 2010

Meet The Team

Good frigging grief. Guy tries to have a little fun around here and WATCH OUT! Boss Nazi’ll come through and make sure you are “working”. I don’t get paid enough for this crap.

I’ve got to write bios for the whole team now. Least I can do is have some fun with it, right? If this stupid “Punishment” of Frank’s actually works, I’ll just re-write it to be more professional, right?

We only have about 4 members who are permanently involved with Searching For Angels. By name they are:

Jason Carter – Yours truly. Like I said before, I’m the group’s tech specialist. I keep everything running smoothly, look out for jobs, and try to combine old junk into new gear when I can. I don’t get don’t see much field work, which is really a shame since I kick serious ectoplasmic rear. But hey, somebody has got to keep these numbskulls from breaking everything that requires more finesse than a bucket of holy water.

Frank Rustle –  Our oh-so-dedicated case manager. Frank is the only real drive behind Searching for Angels. We may give each other a hard time, but Frank and I have been friends since the 5th grade,  and don’t really hate each other half as much as we let on. It’s more of a subtle loathing, really.

Jackson Burr –  Our chief field investigator, and token skeptic. I don’t know how Frank ever convinced Jackson to join up with us, since he doesn’t believe in ghosts, or really much of anything. He styles himself as some sort of Agnostic-Stoic hybrid, the crux of which is that he just doesn’t care if there’s anything out there. Whenever you ask him why, he shoots back some douche-y Stephen King quote about “long-legged beasties”.  But, he’s good at what he does, and usually ends up uncovering a good 80% of the hoaxes we run up against. Oh, and he also has some sort of obsession with bugs.

Matt Smith – For all intents and purposes, our second in command. Matt is Frank’s brother in law, and seems to have been born with tragic condition of not possessing a back bone. Honestly, Matt is probably the reason I’m still doing the desk jobs around here, because he feels that I’m, “too rash for field work.” To be charitable, Matt is cautious. He always takes every precaution even when we are just looking into something that’s probably a bad mouse infestation. And maybe, just maybe, he’s saved our skin a couple times.  But only once or twice.

Well, that’s the team, at least the members that matter. Hopefully that’s good enough for you, Frank. Oh, and whoever e-mailed me this Marble Hornets show? Great stuff, thanks, I doubt I’ll be bored at the desk for a loooooooong time now, pansies 😛


Never mix business and pleasure, Jason.

Well well, what do we have here?

It looks like Jason left his little blog project up and running. It would be a shame if I were to, say, convert it into a company blog and tell Jason not to goof off on my time anymore, wouldn’t it?

If there’s anyone out here whose actually reading this pathetic attempt at human interaction, our man Jason is not just any lonely anti-social techie, he’s MY lonely anti-social techie. Replace every instance of the word “boss” in that last post with “Frank”, and you’ve got me.  Since Jason wants to whine about his job to the internet,  I’m sure he won’t mind me using it to drum up some business.

Searching for Angels is more than my crazy near death experience. We are a serious paranormal research group that is funded on a donation basis, something Jason tends to forget. We aren’t in this for the money, it’s all about doing what we can to make sure the field of paranormal research gets the credence it deserves.

It’s a long story, but basically I had a car accident, and in the after-math I passed out. While I was out I had this weird dream, where I was engulfed in what I can only describe as black light.  There was a man at the edge of the light. I tried to look at him, but it was as if the light just slid off of him, like a snake shedding it’s skin. The only details I could make out about him was that he was tall, maybe 8 feet or more, and wearing a suit.

According to the paramedics that found me, I shouldn’t be alive. I’m convinced that the man in my dream was real, and that he saved my life. I’m also convinced that whatever he was, it wasn’t human.  I’m here because of him, and Jason is here because of ME.

I created Searching For Angels, dead set on finding Him. In the past four years, we’ve had about 50 cases, and maybe 5 believable paranormal encounters. We don’t get much here in Jeff City, and what we do get is almost certainly pure hoax. But I know He’s out there somewhere, and I intend to find Him.

I’ll let Jason fill you in on the rest of the team and how we operate. I’m sure he’d just love to become our lead marketer. And Jason, when you read this? Meet me in my office.