Help Me Help You



Hey everybody, a few random issues to go over.

First off, we’re still on an indefinite hiatus when it comes to investigations. Jason still can’t get all the equipment working for some reason, even though I thought he fixed it. The cameras are technically “workIng”, but they won’t pick up anything but static.

Next, some of you noticed an issue with the site’s about page. I’ll fix that in a little bit, but first I’ve got to ask a question of my own. A lot of you are telling me that Matt’s name is missing from the team categories. All I can say about that is, who the hell is Matt? At first I thought you were just mis-spelling Mara’s name, but if that’s the case you’ve all got the same problem. Is there something you guys/gals need to tell us?

Finally, the elephant in the room: Yes, Jack is still pursuing the Slender-Man project, and I’m fine with it as long as he doesn’t take up my time about it. Pump him for questions all you want, nothing’s going to come of it anyway.


Coming Clean

Hey everybody. So, you know that look that a kid gives you when you catch him with his hand in the cookie jar? I’m wearing that look right now.

Some of you guys may remember awhile back that Jackson handed a challenge out to you cats out there on the internet, that he was going to disprove the existence of Slender Man. Ever since then, everything’s gone to hell in a hand-basket, what with brain-bugs and kidnappings and sudden pregnancies. Things are pretty intense, except for the fact that 90% of it has been a lie.

Yes, we lied to you all, from Day One on. I don’t feel proud of it. You see, around the time Jason started watching those videos, Jack came up with this crazy idea: What if we tried to, well, call this thing. You know, actually try to get it to show up. How amazing would it be for our careers if we could get some footage? We knew it was just a game and all, but it was funny to think “What if?” So we launched this whole “story-line”, doing some digging and trying to come up with a feasible reason for this thing to exist. Then we kind of threw it all out there and binged on as much Slender-Man related junk as we could. We haven’t put anything up for the past week because we got a little bit more proactive. We took a trip out to Denver and went hiking in the Rockies, occasionally splitting up so as to isolate ourselves. Jackson even ran around screaming Slender-facts as loud as he could to try and attract attention. We got plenty of odd looks and a nice talking to from a Park Ranger, but no supernatural phenomenon.

So, I come to you, hat in hand, to tell you I’m truly sorry for misleading you. I’ll be keeping this blog around and we’ll post some of our exploits from time to time, but I had to come clean. For now, I guess there really are no angels, heh.

Et tu?

I’m sure you’ve all seen the video by now. If you haven’t, just look below this post to see our resident nutjob who just can’t seem to stay away from the site. Jason and I have finally cracked back in, but things don’t look good.

I’m sure we could do all sorts of speculation about who Goslanen is. An angry client, a jilted ex-boyfriend of Mara’s, or just a random escapee from a local psych-ward with an unhealthy obsession with my crew. The problem is, I know all those answers are wrong, and I feel like a moron for not figuring it out sooner. After seeing the video, I know exactly who it is. It’s Matt.

I never would have guessed it. I mean, we’ve worked together for years. He was never exactly right in the head, but it wasn’t his fault, at least, that’s what I always told myself. He was a lot like my sister. Neither of them were very in touch with the world when they met, and I thought maybe, just maybe, they could help each other.

I know you are reading this, Matt, so I’ve got a few things to say to you. I hired you on good faith, because you were my brother-in-law and Lucia said that you were a hard worker. I took my baby sister’s word and brought you on to this team. We all let you into our inner circle, and I caught alot of crap for you over the years. Clients never liked you, Jason sure as hell didn’t (even though he tried, the idiot), and Jackson always thought you were a liability.

You know, I’m almost glad my father didn’t live to see this day. He trusted you with Lucia, and I honestly thought you deserved that trust. I stuck my neck out for you, on the job and in private, because I believed in you. I wanted to believe in you, because if I didn’t,  it meant Lucia had just made the biggest mistake of her life, which is saying something. So I kept cleaning up your messes and telling myself that it was all for her sake, and that one day you’d make it up, to me and to her.

But I guess you proved me wrong, didn’t you? I hope your happy, because now I’m going to have to kill you myself, since Dad’s not around to do it . I don’t know if you planned this from the start, or if you just got up one day and decided you need to ruin your life and the lives of everyone around you, but I’m going to make sure you get everything you want out of this deathwish of yours. You better pray to whatever you’ve got left to believe in, because you’ll be seeing your precious Angels real soon.


Frank here. Okay everyone, I guess you all deserve a bit of an explanation as to what just happened. I’ll try and do what I can to clear things up, but I don’t fully understand it myself yet, so bear with me.

So, we found Mara upstairs, that post of hers on the screen. She was having some sort of epileptic fit, freaking out all over the place.  It was..yeah. I mean, I don’t even know how to describe what we saw, it was just so weird. After we were able to calm her down, Jason and Matt drove her to the hospital.  They couldn’t find anything really wrong with her, but one of the doctors looked worried. I didn’t think to check it out at the time.

But that’s not what sticks out the most. Jackson was there. Well, I’m assuming he was anyway. Someone who signed their name as Jackson Burr at the desk visited Mara. He was there, and he still isn’t talking to us. I haven’t been able to get in touch with him ever since all of this started. I don’t know why he was in the hospital, but the doctors say that sometime after he came in, stuff started going wrong with Mara’s medical equipment.

I know what you are all thinking. I don’t want to say it, but the evidence is mounting against him. I think Jack tried to kill her…


Hey everyone, Frank here.

So, Jackson’s cryptic twitter Friday may have garnered some confusion. He sent me a follow-up e-mail afterwards, explaining exactly what he meant, and his plans. I really don’t want to talk about this, but if it will make him come back quicker, I’ll do it.

In the paranormal world, there are two generally recognized types of haunts:  Residual haunts and Intelligent Haunts. Residual haunts are an imprint on the world, generally containing repetitive behavior or messages. Think of a residual haunt as a tape recorder stuck on repeat.

Intelligent haunts are a little bit more tricky. They are theorized to possess cognitive ability, meaning basically that they can think. They may be able to reason, and they are certainly able to communicate.  Much like people, the amount of intelligence that intelligent haunts show varies, and as a rule of thumb it’s good to treat a genuine intelligent haunt with as much or even more respect than you would give the average person.

That’s generally where it drops off for most investigators. But Jackson and I were developing a theory, a third classification: Abductive haunts. Now, right out the gate, I want to make something clear about the word abductive, and that is that it does not deserve the negative stigma generally attached to it. It really means just to remove from a situation by force, so by definition when the Secret Service drags the President away from an assassination attempt, they are abducting him. Abductive haunts work similarly. We based them around the countless stories we’ve heard of “helpful” ghosts removing people from dangerous situations, or less than savory ghosts possessing people to accomplish tasks, or just for plain old giggles. They aren’t inherently positive or negative, but they are far more interactive and much more oriented towards individual people than either of the current classifications of haunts.

I don’t know why Jackson feels the need to drag this all out now. The idea is very much in the formative stage. But more seriously, he discussed another fun fact in his e-mail to me: He plans to reveal the identity of Getmenot. Look, I don’t know how he knows, so don’t ask, but apparently, if Getmenot doesn’t burst the bubble on his/her own, Jackson is going to do it himself – publicly  and painfully.  So, Getmenot, I hope he’s bluffing, for your sake.


Hey everyone.

Things are crazy right now. We lost most of our tech after the debacle at Lemp Mansion, and have been told not to come back. It was incredible in the moment, but now I’m really not sure where we stand anymore.

Jackson’s gone. Matt and I went over to his house just to scope things out, and…geez. It wasn’t like Jackson. There were some papers with weird drawings, and the desk had “WHO ARE YOU?” carved into it. We called the police, and filed a missing persons report, but I’m just not sure it will help. I’ve known Jack for years, and if he doesn’t want to be found, he is not going to be found.

I need help here, guys and gals. I know he was in contact with some of you. Jackson was always pretty secretive to me about his side projects, so I don’t know much about the details of this Slender Man research he was doing. If you have anything, anything that could help us find him, please contact me immediately. Comment below, or send me an e-mail at All help will be much appreciated.

Catch ya later,



Frank Here

Hey everyone. Jackson’s kind of being, well, Jackson. Some odd stuff has gone down recently, and there’ll be an update about that later. Right now, everything is just a little bit on edge. But I can promise that there’ll be some exciting news on the next job coming up real soon, so keep an eye out!